Tomorrow is my birthday.

I'll be 47 years old.

And I have to tell you, there is something both magical and slightly concerning about being this age and realizing just how much of life I'm still figuring out.

I think when we're younger, we imagine that by a certain age we'll have most of the big stuff settled. We'll know who we are, what we want, where we're going, and how we intend to get there.

And then you get here.

And you realize that some of the things you were so sure about at 35 don't even interest you anymore. The life you imagined at 40 looks very different from the one you want at 47.

And somehow, that's one of the most fascinating parts about getting older.

As I approach this birthday, more than anything, I feel an immense amount of gratitude.

Gratitude for the life I've lived, the people I've loved, the places I've been, and the experiences I've had. But also gratitude for the things I've endured, the disappointments I've worked through, and the circumstances that required me to become someone I didn't yet know I was capable of being.

And listen, I have not lived a sheltered life.

My life has been full of beautiful experiences, but it has also come with its fair share of struggle. There have been seasons that required more resilience than I thought I had, decisions I had to make without knowing how they'd turn out, and moments when the only thing I could do was figure out the next step.

And somehow, all of it has prepared me for where I find myself today.

I feel more capable at 47 than I did at 37. Not because I have all the answers, but because I have lived enough life to know that I can navigate uncertainty, recover from disappointment, change direction, and build something new.

When people ask me how I’ve accomplished so much, I tell them that there's a confidence that comes from having lived through things you once thought were going to take you out. It makes you stronger and more resolved, sure you can handle anything.

And maybe, that's what I'm most grateful for as I enter this next year of my life.

I still have questions. My desires are still evolving. There are things I want to experience, places I want to go, and versions of my life I haven't even imagined yet.

But I trust myself more now.

And I think that's a pretty wonderful place to be at 47.

We spend a lot of time talking about the things we've survived, and rightfully so. Some of us have lived through circumstances that changed the entire trajectory of our lives. We've experienced relationships ending, financial setbacks, career disappointments, family responsibilities, and seasons when we were doing our absolute best to hold everything together.

And while those experiences deserve acknowledgment, lately I've been thinking about them from a slightly different perspective.

What have those experiences made possible?

Think about something you went through ten years ago that felt completely overwhelming at the time. Maybe it was a situation that challenged everything you believed about yourself, forced you to make decisions you would have preferred to avoid, or required you to find resources and abilities you didn't even know you possessed.

Now consider who you became as a result of navigating that experience.

You may have learned how to advocate for yourself in situations where you previously would have remained silent. Or you became more discerning about the people you allow into your life, or you may have even discovered that you were capable of supporting yourself, starting over in a new city, or creating opportunities where none seemed to exist.

I think about this in my own life quite often because, as I mentioned earlier, it hasn’t always been easy. I've had experiences that required me to become resourceful, adaptable, and willing to make difficult decisions, sometimes with very little certainty about how things would turn out.

And while I certainly wouldn't volunteer to repeat some of those experiences, I can appreciate the ways they've shaped my ability to move through life today.

But there's a difference between being grateful for what happened and being grateful for what you've developed because of it, especially when we're talking about experiences that were genuinely painful or difficult.

As I approach this new year, I'm beginning to appreciate just how much I have to draw from. Every experience has added something to my understanding of myself, other people, and the world around me.

And I wonder how differently we might approach the next chapter of our lives if we spent a little more time recognizing what we've already developed along the way.

Because some of the very things that once made life difficult have also helped prepare us for the possibilities we're considering today.

One of the things I find encouraging about getting older is how much our desires change, sometimes without us even realizing it's happening.

There are things I once wanted desperately that I wouldn't choose today, and there are things I want now that wouldn't have made much sense to the woman I was ten years ago. Some of that comes from experience, some from having different responsibilities, and some from simply getting to know myself better.

I think about the decisions we make in our twenties and thirties and how much those decisions are influenced by what we believe a successful life is supposed to look like. We pursue careers, build families, buy homes, develop relationships, and create lives around the things that matter to us at the time.

And then, somewhere along the way, life changes.

The children grow up and begin creating lives of their own. Relationships evolve or come to an end. Careers that once challenged and excited us become less fulfilling, or we discover interests that have absolutely nothing to do with the work we've spent decades doing.

Sometimes the changes happen gradually, and sometimes a single experience causes us to reconsider everything.

What's interesting to me is how often we continue organizing our lives around priorities that have already changed.

I think there's a certain comfort in familiarity, even when the familiar no longer reflects what we want. We've invested time, energy, money, and sometimes entire decades into building a particular kind of life, so reconsidering any part of it can feel like we're questioning the value of everything that came before.

But I don't see it that way.

I can appreciate the life I wanted at 30 and still recognize that I want something different at 47. The decisions I made back then served a purpose, and many of them created opportunities and experiences I'm enormously grateful for today.

That doesn't mean those same decisions have to determine what the next twenty years look like.

And this is where the experience we've gained becomes so valuable. We have a much better understanding of what matters to us, what we're willing to compromise on, and what we're no longer interested in pursuing. We've also had enough experience with change to recognize that even when a decision doesn't work out exactly as planned, we can usually find our way forward.

There's a freedom in reaching a point in life where you can look at something you've spent years building, appreciate what it has meant to you, and still ask yourself whether it's what you want going forward.

And sometimes what you discover is that the thing you want now is something you've wanted for a very long time. You just weren't in a position to pursue it before.

As I consider what I want this next chapter of my life to look like, I'm deeply grateful for everything that has brought me to this point, while equally interested in what I might choose to do with the years ahead.

Earlier this year, I started working with women in their seventies, and one of the things that has stayed with me is how much life they're still interested in living.

They're making decisions about relationships, businesses, travel, family, and what they want their days to look like. They're learning new things about themselves, reconsidering decisions they made years ago, and exploring possibilities that might have seemed completely unreasonable at an earlier stage of life.

And I love that, because somewhere along the way, we developed these imaginary timelines for our lives. By 30, we should have accomplished certain things. By 40, we should be established. By 50, we should know exactly where we're headed.

But life has a way of laughing in our face and making those timelines irrelevant.

People fall in love at 65, start businesses at 58, move across the world at 72, and discover interests at 80 that bring them more joy than careers they spent decades building.

And thinking about all of that has made me increasingly curious about what I want to do with the years ahead of me.

If I'm fortunate enough to live another 30 or 40 years, that's a lot of time left. I mean, there's time to learn another language, live somewhere new, build meaningful relationships, create things, make mistakes, change direction, and find entirely new reasons to be excited about waking up in the morning.

Which brings me to something I've been wanting to share with you.

I've decided to move to Portugal.

Yes, Portugal. As in the country. Across the Atlantic Ocean. Ha!

Now, you may remember that just a few weeks ago, I wrote about my sitting still season. After years of moving around, I was finally learning to be present where I was, without constantly thinking about where I might go next.

And I even joked about how funny it would be if I ended up writing to you from Portugal in January.

Well, apparently, I should be a little more careful about what I put into the universe.

Because here we are.

I've been thinking about this move for over a decade, and as I look at the life I want to create in this next chapter, it feels like an opportunity to experience something different. My daughter has started a new chapter of her own, my responsibilities have changed, and I'm in a season where I have the freedom to consider possibilities that would have been much more complicated a few years ago.

And Portugal keeps coming back to me.

There's still quite a bit to work through before the move becomes a reality, including the practical details of relocating to another country. But I've made the decision to pursue it, and I'm genuinely excited about what it could mean for this next season of my life.

What's interesting is that I don't see this decision as being at odds with what I wrote about sitting still.

If anything, I think that season gave me an opportunity to listen to myself more closely and consider what I actually wanted, without feeling the need to immediately act on every thought that crossed my mind.

And now, here I am, preparing to explore something new.

At almost 47, I'm grateful that I still have the curiosity to imagine a different life and the confidence to pursue it. I'm also grateful for all the experiences that have made a decision like this feel possible.

And while I have no idea what my life will look like five years from now, I’m excited to find out.

There are people I haven't met, places I haven't seen, experiences I haven't had, and things I haven't yet discovered about myself.

And I want to remain open to all of it.

Take a few minutes this week to think about the life you've lived and the person it's helped you become.

Consider these three questions:

What is something you've lived through that has made you more capable today?

What do you want now that you didn't want five or ten years ago?

What possibility for your future would you like to give yourself permission to explore?

Give yourself a little time to sit with your answers. You may find that some of the things you're hoping to experience next are much more within reach than you've been allowing yourself to believe.

And if you feel inclined, hit reply and tell me what you're discovering. I'd love to hear it.

Over the next 12 weeks, I'll be sharing a five-minute guided audio reflection each Sunday to help you slow down, reconnect with yourself, and get intentional about the week ahead.

Each week, we'll explore something different, giving you a few minutes to reflect on what you want and how you want to show up in your life.

This week's reflection: Come Back to Yourself

Find somewhere comfortable, press play, and give yourself these next five minutes.

As I celebrate another trip around the sun, I'm grateful for all of it.

The beautiful parts, the messy parts, the unexpected turns, the people who have come and gone, and the experiences that have changed the way I see myself and the world.

I have lived enough life to know that things won't always unfold the way I expect them to. There will be more decisions to make, more things to learn, and probably a few more moments when I wonder what in the world I'm doing.

But as I enter 47, I feel more equipped to live my life than ever before. I'm grateful for the resilience I've developed, the perspective I've gained, and the confidence to navigate whatever comes next. And oh, what a privilege it is to have the opportunity to keep going.

I'm equally grateful for all that I have yet to experience.

I hope that with each passing year, I'll become more curious, more courageous, and more willing to explore what's possible.

And I hope you will, too.

Until next Sunday,

Donteacia 💛

P.S. Remember, When you go first… life follows.