You get to decide how you want to live this life.

And if someone has a problem with it? Let Them.

It’s your life. Not theirs.

That’s really it. That’s the whole message.

I actually wrote about 1,200 words on societal rules and expectations before I stopped myself. Because none of what I write over the next 46 weeks will matter if you don’t first decide what you want your life to look like.

Here’s the part that tends to get complicated for people.

Your life is yours. And it’s yours even when it’s intertwined with others. Responsibility doesn’t erase choice. It just changes how you make it.

You can care deeply about the people who depend on you and still decide how you want to live, what you’re available for, and what you’re no longer willing to carry. Those two things can exist at the same time.

I have a friend who is trying for a baby, but it’s been slow going. When we last chatted, she was also in the market for a new car and had her eye on a sports car. But she believed it would be irresponsible for her to purchase this car knowing she wanted to start a family and that people would judge her for wanting it.

I shared with her 2 things:

1) Make decisions based on what’s happening in your life today. We spend a lot of time planning for a future that may never come, denying ourselves of the pleasures that will make our life more rich and whole today. So focus on today and have a plan for what you will do when that moment comes.

2) You life. Your rules.

My daughter grew up in the backseat of a Sebring convertible. True story.

I bought it when she was 8 months old. I was so in love with this car I only cared that it had a backseat that would fit her car seat.

As you can see, it did…and yes, it’s sitting on 22s (rims).

Before becoming an entrepreneur, my job normally started at 9am, and since I was in the field a lot I had the luxury of driving my daughter to and from school all the way through her junior year of high school.

When she was in elementary, I would pull up to pick up with the top down. She would climb in the back standing upright and plop in her car seat/or booster. With the top still down, I would strap her in and we’d be off.

Oh the looks I received at this very vanilla Christian private academy, but I did not care what anyone else had to say. My daughter was safe and loved and riding in that convertible was her favorite thing.

I upgraded that car 3x over the years, before ultimately getting a Mercedes convertible (2 seater) her senior year.

I have been judged for many things in this life, but I also have fully LIVED this life and hopefully I’ve instilled the same in my daughter.

Listen. People will always find something to judge about you. Always. So let them. And also, F*k Them…which is more along the lines of how I move.

If you don’t have the courage to decide what stays and what goes in your life, another year will pass you by. Or worse, other people will decide for you, and you’ll wake up one day and realize you’re living inside someone else’s vision for your life.

So decide. Today. Right here. Right now.

It’s okay to leave a relationship that no longer works. It’s okay to change careers if your current one has you feeling suffocated.It’s okay to set new boundaries with family and friends.It’s okay to be a lovergirl and want real love and companionship.It’s okay to be deeply devoted to your children.It’s okay to be deeply devoted to your work. It is 100% okay to design your life in a way that feels right to you.

Just know this. Every choice comes with trade-offs.

So choose wisely.

And my friend, well she sent me a picture of her new Jaguar F-type…and no it does not have a backseat, but life is for living today…and she can always trade it in when the time comes.

Choose one area of your life you want to improve.

Then write down 5 things you could do to make it better. Yes, on paper.

Circle the one thing that jumps out at you the most.

It doesn’t have to be the hardest one or the one that makes the most sense.

Choose the one that actually excites you when you think about what’s possible.

That’s your move.

Side note: Don’t go out here quitting your job without a plan. Be decisive, but be smart. Think through your exit strategy. Pick a date. Start lining up your next step or shoring up your income before you leap.

Bold doesn’t mean reckless.

Your life is yours. And yours alone, even when shared with others.

And if you have responsibilities that extend far beyond you, you still get to choose how to build a life that feels good deep down in your spirit, with those responsibilities in mind.

We get this one beautiful life.

I’m choosing to make the most of mine.I invite you to do the same.

…and so it is.

-Donteacia 💛